


Remember: Don't befriend your evil boss

by LordTraco



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, Not Romance, Slow Burn, Tags May Change, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22797241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordTraco/pseuds/LordTraco
Summary: Wouldn't it be funny if Agent Stone had to be complimented once a day per his contract and that's why he was yell-complimented about how he makes his lattes?Wouldn't it be silly if the two of them started having feelings and those feelings are friendship and they are both fighting tooth and nail not to befriend one another, but it's hard when one is super loyal and patient and the all-around most tolerable part of your life, and the other is a boss that is infinitely more exciting and easy to please than any in customer service?Wouldn't it be hilarious if this thought hit so hard i wrote this in the hour before work? No? Well I think its silly so nyeh!
Comments: 24
Kudos: 94





	1. The Beginning and The End

"Alright, I've reviewed your abysmal resume and found you to not be the worst pile of mildew I could choose to drag along. Name your demands because this'll probably be the last time I listen to you."

"Well, as you definitely can gleam from my many years in customer service, I have a high amount of patience when it comes to those who cannot be pleased." Stone picked up the papers in front of him, letting them lightly hit the desk so as to make them neat. It gave him a slight reprieve from the intense stare he was getting. "As the ad so plainly put, my only job would be reporting to you, following your orders exactly, and aiding in 'sick burns which are shown to be 250% more effective when performed alongside an agreeable person.' I can handle that. You are too smart to tell me polar opposite orders, and I trust your mistrust in my intellect. If you thought I was as smart as you, you might assume I know what you want me to do when I do not. This intellectual imbalance works in my favor as you are always to blame if I am not following an ungiven order."

Stone saw a lick of anger at that last part, but it soon became a shrug and a nod because it played to the doctor's pride.

"Further, I understand that this job will still be taxing, as you must show dominance over everyone to ensure there is no hint of favoritism, and lashing out helps you to think. Therefore." He took a breath, steeling himself. "Therefore, my only demand is that one genuine compliment be said to me every day of my working for you."

"That's it? No 'five yachts a year' or 'infinite get-out-of-jail-free cards'? Most just want this job for money."

"I want this job for the challenge. I want to see your brilliance at work and know how perfected my own patience and loyalty can be. I couldn't think of anything else that would test you in turn."

"Does it matter the tone of the compliment?"

"It can't be sarcastic."

"You're hired. There's your daily compliment."

"Thank you, doctor!"

...years later…

"You wanted to see me, doctor?"

It was twenty minutes to midnight by Stone's watch. They were still chasing the blue creature, a fact that may not have been true had he stopped the truck from leaving the driveway that morning. He knew the doctor was livid about that. 

How many times had he been at this door, posture straight, mind turning, expecting to be fired so the doctor wouldn't be obligated to say something nice to one he deemed a failure? So many times. So many times he was here to be yelled at until one minute to midnight when Robotnik would sigh and say that he was a loyal worker, a patient man… One time, last April, he was pretending to be drunk and let it spill that he was the most adequate friend he'd ever had.

But this time, would letting an infinite energy source out of their grasp be enough to let him go?

Dr. Robotnik opened the door a minute later in what anyone but Stone might call uncharacteristically silly video game pajamas. "In." His face was unreadable.

Stone entered, obediently quiet. Robotnik had an ice pack to the side of his face and looked… vulnerable. Stone wanted badly to leave, as seeing his boss this way sparked the eternally stupid idea of friendship again.

"Thank you… for checking on me. It was pathetically stupid, but… it's nice to know someone cares if I get hurt." Dr. Robotnik said quietly, looking to all the world like a scared and lonely child.

Stone knew better. This was a tiger showing its belly. A sign of trust, but one wrong move meant four terribly strong sets of claws rushing at you. He stayed quiet.

"I showed all the world what I could do to any bully, I gained fame and notoriety and built murderous robots, and STILL a bully finds his way to hurt me again."

Stone found himself questioning how innocent the doctor had been as a child if he could view a cornered, threatened man as a bully, but again held his tongue.

"Thank you, Stone. I appreciate your moral support. Tomorrow, I make history by obtaining an infinite power source. Good night."

With that, a tired lackey left the doctor to his own hopeful dreams. And perhaps he shared in them too. A world of infinite energy and a famous doctor and his loyal friend.

Such a dream wouldn't come, as they were the bad guys, of course. But even bad guys can have good dreams.


	2. All According To Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back by unexpected popular demand, a tiny headcanon on how Agent Stone came to be hired by Robotnik! Seriously though, thank you for all of the comments!!! It's fueled me through a tough work week!
> 
> TW for uh... stalking and manipulation of events? Robotnik is an entitled dude who gets everything he wants unless it's a specific blue hedgehog.

“Pleeeeeeeeease? I just need you to come in for one shift a week! Two hours max!”

Mr. Stone sighed. He was already working two part time jobs and even if the call center and fast food place were cutting his hours, the shifts didn’t feel any easier. Yet here he was answering a friend of a friend’s call begging him to go work at their tiny diner for the third year in a row.

“I’ve done it for two years now! You can hire somebody to bail you out this time!”

“I really can’t! It’s nearly graduation time so all my student-hires are busy and there are so many people coming in for late night study-meals!”

Stone sighed. It was the same song and dance every year. The owner would never pass up on the revenue that came from being open all hours of the night for the university students, nor would they stop hiring said students. The only time this business model crashed was around graduation time, and with a reliable Stone to bail them out, why change?

“Two hours, you said?” Stone asked, pinching his forehead in frustration.

“Yes!!!” The owner sounded as relieved as ever. “Nine to eleven pm on Thursday, just after the library closes. We have particularly needy clients that day.”

“Same dude as last year?”

“I think so. How many doctorates does one man need?”

“Better question, how many lattes does one man need?” Stone chuckled, finding some small solace in the fact that one thing would remain the same.

“You’re the best!!!”

…

And so Stone returned from his hectic jobs on Thursday, tidied himself up to be a halfway presentable person, and made his way to the diner a little after 8:30. His fatigue didn’t show in the slightest, the one thing he took a lot of pride in.

As he stepped confidently into the door, he fell back into a rhythm he never really left. He caught a pencil mid-way to the floor, dodged a hurried waiter, and made a mental note of a complaint he could hear halfway across the building. He dealt with the drunk after-partiers who always took over the booths to the left, getting them water before even approaching for orders. He whispered a correction about an order to the waiter as he went by, noting the happy response the “mind reading” got the young man later in the night. He cleaned up a spill or two and handled the more complicated drink orders.

Finally, he saw a familiar latte order for the man the staff always affectionately (with or without sarcasm) referred to as “Nick”. That wasn’t his name, but someone his first year had overheard his name ending in that sound, so the nickname stuck.

They’d never met, Stone wasn’t even sure if he’d ever even made eye contact with “Nick”, but like clockwork, that man was there every Thursday at precisely 8:54pm. He always ordered the latte with Austrian goat milk. The one time the owner had tried to swap to cheaper milk for lattes, a fridge malfunction made the cheap stuff spoil, and the more expensive one had an unlikely sale. The owner took it as an omen to keep it the same. They didn’t like change very much.

He was honestly a bit curious about the eccentric man who always took the corner booth, but it wasn’t like they’d ever cross paths after this year, right?

How strange was it that he ended up working for the man?

…

Not strange at all, actually.

Robotnik was very set in his ways. He liked certain things certain ways. He liked the diner being open as late as it was, and he enjoyed the lattes only when one worker made them. It was likely to do with the additional creamer added by a veteran of the trade rather than a new worker taught to skim it off to save resources. Additionally, he enjoyed the atmosphere of resolved tension the moment the confident worker arrived. He was a man of impenetrable patience whose calm and honest demeanor made the place run smoothly and at just the right volume to chaos ratio to allow Robotnik’s brain to run at its best.

For this to be maintained, he needed the chaos of the new student workers with their fatigued brains and caffeinated anxieties. He needed the confident man, Lee M. Stone, to continue working and bringing it all in line. So what if he needed to do a little subtle manipulation on the owner’s music and news recommendations to entice a desire to keep things the same, no matter the cost.

The incident with the cheap goat milk was what really made him determined to keep his little diner (because it was his, make no mistake) as the perfect slice of chaotic heaven it was. At least until he graduated, then the IRS could find all the “tax evasion” they were unknowingly doing to have such a profitable few years. Robotnik felt they deserved it for trying to pass off normal milk as goat milk at the same price.

And just as he orchestrated the last three years of his doctorate studying, he just as easily found and hired his latte making genius. After finding his full name with ease, Robotnik oh so casually made his job advertisement appear in the only newspaper Stone’s social circle was likely to see. Sure, it caught a few others in hopes of the great pay offered, but that was just as well. Everything needs a good control sample. The others were nothing impressive.

Stone, however, arrived with the same level of calm self-assuredness he admired in the man. He stated his case factually, appealed to the doctor’s ego, and maintained a level of respect that Robotnik wished everyone would show him.

And if Robotnik perhaps enjoyed the man’s company to the point that others might insist on calling friendship, well, he has robots to silence that kind of talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please give me more ideas of directions for this fic to go. I can go into post-movie headcanons, go into the fake drunk scene alluded to in chapter 1, anything you want.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a joke but convince me to continue it. Tell me "do it you wont" and I will.


End file.
